50 SHADES OF WASTE OF MY TIME

So I heard all the fuss about E. L. James' "50 Shades of Grey."  Well, who hasn't, right?  As luck would have it, one of the ladies I work with was just finishing up the book and told me she'd lend it to me as soon as she was done with it.
I'm a big reader and can go through a good book super fast.  I look forward to indulging that simple pleasure for about 20 minutes or so almost nightly before I go to sleep. 

Anyway, she lends me the book and I start in on it that night.  I cheated though.  I read several of the online reviews before I borrowed it.  The reviews mostly said the book was awful, but I figured I'd give it a shot and make up my own mind.

Well, what a seriously stupid effing book it turned out to be.  A complete and total waste of my time.  Thank God I didn't pay for that crap.  I did read up to, and including, the much talked about Chapter 8...well, I merely skimmed Chapter 8, it was so retarded I couldn't bear to read every stupid word of it.  Or even one more.

First off, I could not get beyond the utter Britishness of the main female character - yes, the author is from London or somewhere where they are British.  Problem is, the main female character is supposed to be from somewhere like Georgia, I think, where they are not at all British.  And she is living in the Pacific Northwest, which is not a particularly British-speaking part of the United States, is it?  At least not when last I visited.  I tried my best to relocate, in my mind, the story to a London town, of which I've been to exactly none.  It made it difficult for me to see this story in my head, as I like to do when I read a good book.

And then, the plot (term used extremely loosely) of the story is so lame.  Young plain'ish looking virgin just entering the real world meets slightly older gorgeous hunk of a humanitarian billionaire man who never works and all they do is fuck (blushing).  That's about all I know.  Maybe there is no plot or storyline.  It was just too stupid for me to read anymore of it.

I didn't spend a dime of my money on it and not too much of my time, thankfully.  And this was actually the first book in the Trilogy of Trash!  Yes, there are two others out there!  Lord help us - there must be a world of sex-starved, low-readers out there.  This really is an awful book.  Most of the reviews were "spot on" accurate!