Sunday, August 12, 2012


Yep, it's been a while since I've blogged.  I know I talk all tough and everything but, honestly, I am really struggling with the situation I've been going through.  I decided on therapy.  Damn - she can't prescribe meds though.  I'll work on that one. 

I've been journaling so much I think I brought on premature arthritis in my writing hand.  It got all swollen, sore and claw-like.  Great.  I now have a hideous writer's bump on my middle finger with a nice little HUGE callous on it.  And I still don't have all the crap out of my head!!! 

I'm making a little scrapbook of motivational sayings.  Oh, so crafty.  And I'll probably throw it out before I ever finish it.  I'm reading self-help books like they're going out of style.  I even read them in the book store so I don't have to pay for any more of them (and so the cashier doesn't see me buying them and confirm what a loser in love I am).  I've written letters to him (that I will eventually burn but will never send).  I've talked to my friends so much they are beginning to avoid me (love you, Kristi!). 

My family is so over him.  They don't want to hear that I'm hung up on someone that is not hung up on me (I'm a 'tard).  My dad will immediately cut me off if I mention his name.  My dad thinks I should be as strong as he is.  I'm not.  I mean, I'm not weak.  But my dad is Mr. Unemotional.  And that is an understatement.

I cannot wait to get beyond this.  It's quite a bit more painful than the first go around.  Love sucks!  Losing love sucks even more. 

So, wish me luck on the therapy.  I'm gonna need it!

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