Melrose Place

Okay, so something exciting doesn't happen to me everyday.  In the meantime, I'll fill you in a little bit on where I live.  It's an apartment complex...courtyard type.  It is often referred to by the locals as "Melrose Place."  There are a few subtle differences though.  There are no cute wooden doors or archways.  There is a pool in the center of it all, but no gorgeous bodies lounging around it.  And no hot pool guy.  The tenants are not exactly young, beautiful, or professional.  Certainly not any combination of the three.  No, it's not a senior living complex either.  I'm middle-aged, not over-the-hill.  There are a few nice people living here.  Some are senior citizens, some are family people with small children, and some actually have jobs.  There is diversity.  There are a few apartments that exceed maximum occupancy.  There is an unusually high number of loud, vulgar, pot-smoking, white trash, useless, tattooed, drunk individuals living here.  Some are cohabitating, but I hope to God not procreating!  You'll hear more about them.  I loathe them.  I don't so much mind the tattoos - freedom of expression and all that - I just despise who the tattoos are attached to.

I'll fill you in later on the "Church Girls," "Speedo Man," "5150 the Music Mogul," "JoeJoe the Tattoo-Faced Boy," and "Peeping Juan."  It's a colorful place.  Can't we all just get along?