PLAN B

The countdown to vacation time has begun.  Less than two weeks away.  Beats the hell outta me where I'll be going, but I'm currently working on Plan B because Plan A has yet to return a phone call.  What the fuck?  Yeah, sorry for swearing.  Get used to it.

First of all, I'm completely confused as to why HE is mad at ME?  And secondly, why he said we'd put last weekend's weird phone call behind us and that he'd call but hasn't.  He knows the one way to drive me absolutely batshit insane is to make himself completely inaccessible.  He may not even be doing it intentionally, but that he's doing it at all is completely 100% wrong and, even more than that, it's fucked up.  He knows he'll have to deal with it sooner or later.  These things don't go away quietly.

Avoidance of a situation is such chicken shit.  Really.  Grow a pair.  Unless, of course, you really don't care.  And then the absolute least one could do is send an "adios" email.  Just out of common courtesy.  But don't leave a person you "say" you love and care about just hanging in endless limbo.  That is cruel.  It's torture.  And it's very junior high school.  

We've been together over 4 years.  To not bother to make a promised call or to return a call is really so immature.  So thoughtless.  Inconsiderate.  To leave someone dangling off the side of the bridge without any idea if there's a safety net way down there is just crap.

I cannot deal with "guessing" what the hell is happening or what he's thinking.  Yeah, yeah, yeah...it's right in front of my face, right?   Well, I handle it better if I'm TOLD the situation.  I like things straight up!  Shouldn't have to guess at this point.  My currently messed up head will conjure up all sorts of variables and what-ifs.  It's not like it's a first date and I'm waiting, hoping for that second call and it doesn't come.  I get that one.  This is an established relationship where we've talked about spending our lives together.  Where we're discussing where we want to settle down.  Working on that next step.  You know what I'm talking about.

If the commitment-phobe can't take the next big-boy step, then he should at least be able to address the situation like an adult.

Wish I could grow a pair.